Abbott: Strange as it may seem, they give ball players nowadays very peculiar names.<\/p>\n
Costello: Funny names?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Nicknames, nicknames. Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who\u2019s on first, What\u2019s on second, I Don\u2019t Know is on third.<\/p>\n
Costello: That\u2019s what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the St. Louis team.<\/p>\n
Abbott: I\u2019m telling you. Who\u2019s on first, What\u2019s on second, I Don\u2019t Know is on third.<\/p>\n
Costello: You know the fellows\u2019 names?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Yes.<\/p>\n
Costello: Well, then who\u2019s playing first?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Yes.<\/p>\n
Costello: I mean the fellow\u2019s name on first base.<\/p>\n
Abbott: Who.<\/p>\n
Costello: The fellow playin\u2019 first base.<\/p>\n
Abbott: Who.<\/p>\n
Costello: The guy on first base.<\/p>\n
Abbott: Who is on first.<\/p>\n
Costello: Well, what are you askin\u2019 me for?<\/p>\n
Abbott: I\u2019m not asking you\u2013I\u2019m telling you. Who is on first.<\/p>\n
Costello: I\u2019m asking you\u2013who\u2019s on first?<\/p>\n
Abbott: That\u2019s the man\u2019s name.<\/p>\n
Costello: That\u2019s who\u2019s name?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Yes.<\/p>\n
Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Every dollar of it. And why not, the man\u2019s entitled to it.<\/p>\n
Costello: Who is?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Yes.<\/p>\n
Costello: So who gets it?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Why shouldn\u2019t he? Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.<\/p>\n
Costello: Who\u2019s wife?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Yes. After all, the man earns it.<\/p>\n
Costello: Who does?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Absolutely.<\/p>\n
Costello: Well, all I\u2019m trying to find out is what\u2019s the guy\u2019s name on first base?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Oh, no, no. What is on second base.<\/p>\n
Costello: I\u2019m not asking you who\u2019s on second.<\/p>\n
Abbott: Who\u2019s on first!<\/p>\n
Costello: St. Louis has a good outfield?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Oh, absolutely.<\/p>\n
Costello: The left fielder\u2019s name?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Why.<\/p>\n
Costello: I don\u2019t know, I just thought I\u2019d ask.<\/p>\n
Abbott: Well, I just thought I\u2019d tell you.<\/p>\n
Costello: Then tell me who\u2019s playing left field?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Who\u2019s playing first.<\/p>\n
Costello: Stay out of the infield! The left fielder\u2019s name?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Why.<\/p>\n
Costello: Because.<\/p>\n
Abbott: Oh, he\u2019s center field.<\/p>\n
Costello: Wait a minute. You got a pitcher on this team?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Wouldn\u2019t this be a fine team without a pitcher?<\/p>\n
Costello: Tell me the pitcher\u2019s name.<\/p>\n
Abbott: Tomorrow.<\/p>\n
Costello: Now, when the guy at bat bunts the ball\u2013me being a good catcher\u2013I want to throw the guy out at first base, so I pick up the ball and throw it to who?<\/p>\n
Abbott: Now, that\u2019s he first thing you\u2019ve said right.<\/p>\n
Costello: I DON\u2019T EVEN KNOW WHAT I\u2019M TALKING ABOUT!<\/p>\n
Abbott: Don\u2019t get excited. Take it easy.<\/p>\n
Costello: I throw the ball to first base, whoever it is grabs the ball, so the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to what. What throws it to I don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t know throws it back to tomorrow\u2013a triple play.<\/p>\n
Abbott: Yeah, it could be.<\/p>\n
Costello: Another guy gets up and it\u2019s a long ball to center.<\/p>\n
Abbott: Because.<\/p>\n
Costello: Why? I don\u2019t know. And I don\u2019t care.<\/p>\n
Abbott: What was that?<\/p>\n
Costello: I said, I DON\u2019T CARE!<\/p>\n
Abbott: Oh, that\u2019s our shortstop!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"